Do We Have to Know Someone to Love Them?
Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone and instantly feeling there was absolutely nothing that separated you? It’s helpful to understand exactly what’s going on when that happens. First of all, there was no impulse from either of you to judge the other person, so both of you were able to see through […]
I Decided to Treat Everything as Interesting
A Brilliant Adaptation The other day I was reading an interesting article in the New York Times about the British adventurer/explorer Alastair Humphries. In it, he spoke about how his highly ambitious globetrotting habits had been reined in, first by the needs of his young family, and then by the pandemic. Rather than give up […]
What if Staring Turned Out to Be Your Reset Button?
How often do you find yourself staring into space? An untrue and unhelpful piece of received wisdom suggests that staring is a sign of slacking off, lack of focus, or being lost in a waking dream. What if it were something else entirely? I found myself in the middle of a good stare recently. I’d […]
What Blackie the Cat Taught Me About Love, Death, and Grief
Our nineteen year-old cat, Mr. Blackie, died last week. He showed up on our porch one winter morning, and he’d clearly been living on the road for a while, He’d been in fights, he was skinny, and his coat was dull. Immediately apparent was his sweetness of spirit, which shone through all of that. The […]
Worry, the boogeyman.
Worry is the Monster in the Closet Adults Still Believe In. The bogeyman under the bed and the monster in the closet are illusions we tend to associate with childhood. They are how a child expresses the absence of a safe feeling. As children, once we’re shown there are no monsters or bogeymen under the […]
The Diamond and the Lump of Coal: A New Year’s Wish
It can seem strange to remember that a diamond and a lump of coal share the same essential chemical composition. They’re both pure carbon. A diamond is simply a lump of coal, plus time and force. Once time and force have been applied, no one would be likely to mistake a diamond for a lump […]
I Didn’t Need to Find Peace; It Found Me
How long does it take to find lasting peace? The sort of peace that, even in challenging situations doesn’t fail us? Common belief essentially suggests that it’ll be a long struggle, a great deal of work, and that, in the end, it’s likely we won’t find it until the end of our lives. And then, […]
Is It Immature of Me to Feel So Alive?
Earlier this week, I was talking to a client who was confused about a particular feeling he sometimes experiences. “Sometimes, inside, I still feel like a kid. I suspect it’s just that I’m immature.” My client isn’t immature, and I had a slightly different take on the source of his feeling like a kid. I […]
Thriving in Uncertainty
Thriving in Uncertainty We’ve all heard that people are often afraid of change, and while that’s true, it doesn’t get to the heart of that particular fear. While we may be afraid of change, it’s the uncertainty behind change that we find upsetting. Humans love to believe they live in a world of certainty, and we […]
Made New By Forgiveness
Made New By Forgiveness The value of forgiveness and who benefits from it are almost always misunderstood and underappreciated. I suspect this is because when we forgive, or even think about forgiveness, we focus on the act we feel warrants forgiveness. If we’re the one who feels we’ve been badly or wrongly treated, coming to […]