Over the years, I’ve coached a number of clients as they approached retirement. In almost every case there’s a period when the person about to retire freaks out a bit. Isn’t it ironic that there’s so much anxiety around retirement, a time of life we’ve been taught to look forward to? I’ve become convinced the primary reason for this freak-out has to do with just how much our identities (who we believe we are, and who we’d like others to believe we are) are shaped by what we do. For a majority of us, our sense of worthiness is inextricably tied to our profession. This sense of identity is essentially

In a conversation with a client about resistance the other day, it became clear to me that they had some confusion about the difference between acceptance and surrender. Though it’s common to confuse one with the other, they’re not really the same.

A week ago, a childhood dream was fulfilled when I was wrapped in the immersive experience of a total eclipse. I read about eclipses when I was about seven, so that means I waited sixty-five years to see it. It was everything it possibly could have been, but the real gift of the day turned out to have nothing to do with the eclipse itself.

How often do you find yourself staring into space? An untrue and unhelpful piece of received wisdom suggests that staring is a sign of slacking off, lack of focus, or being lost in a waking dream. What if it were something else entirely? I found myself in the middle of a good stare recently. I’d been writing all morning, was in a lovely mood, and was happy with what presented itself to be written. And then, there I was, in the middle of a good stare. I must have been in a curious mood (always a good sign) because rather than telling myself, “Snap out of it,” I let myself

It can seem strange to remember that a diamond and a lump of coal share the same essential chemical composition. They’re both pure carbon. A diamond is simply a lump of coal, plus time and force. Once time and force have been applied, no one would be likely to mistake a diamond for a lump of coal, even though the chemical composition hasn’t changed. You have the choice to regard yourself as either one or the other, a diamond, or a lump of coal. The shame of it is, that most of us, in complete innocence, see ourselves as the lump of coal. We may believe we have the raw

Thriving in Uncertainty We’ve all heard that people are often afraid of change, and while that’s true, it doesn’t get to the heart of that particular fear. While we may be afraid of change, it’s the uncertainty behind change that we find upsetting. Humans love to believe they live in a world of certainty, and we also love to believe the future has a predictability to it we can count on. There’s a certain amount of truth in that, but it’s a narrow, limited truth. All the elements in our lives we like to think of as predictable, as knowable, are predictable right up to the instant they’re not. A feeling of